No More Heroes: Katana Tournament
by spellboy555
Summary: Travis is now in a worldwide Tournament to find out who the best assassin is. Travis got lucky to start off from rank 10th but will he be able to keep the rank he has, continue up the ranks, or fall to some other assassin? Rated T for gore and language.
1. Chapter 1

No More Heroes: Katana tournament

Chapter 1: The Beginning of the tournament.

It was morning in the city of Santa Destroy and Travis Touchdown had just woken up. He was freshening up for the day when he received a call from Sylvia.

"What do you want Sylvia?" Travis asked with a hostile tone.

"I am just calling to tell you that the UAA is back up and that we are hosting another tournament to find out who the supreme assassin is in the world." Sylvia replied.

"The World?" Travis asked.

"Yes, the world. This time, assassins from all over the world are joining the UAA to find out who the very best is, and they were all hoping to clash with you." Sylvia said.

"Hehe, so I'm famous around the world now? That's just great." Travis said with a laugh.

"So, will you be joining the tournament? If so, you will start from rank 10 this time because I'm generous. Or will I have to bribe you again?" Sylvia asked.

"I don't know Sylvia, what do you think? Let me give you a hint, the word starts with a Y and ends with the letters e and s." Travis said.

"Fine, but only if you win the tournament. And this time, I won't hold back." Sylvia said as she hung up the phone.

Travis smiled and decided to visit Naomi's lab to see if there are any new upgrades he can add to his beam katana.

"Sorry, but I'm fresh out of parts, a bunch of other people stormed this place and demanded for parts. They were all talking about some tournament." Naomi said.

"So, a bunch of Beam Katana users in this tournament?" Travis asked himself in delight. "This will be fun."

"Just don't get yourself killed; you're still my best customer." Naomi said, sending Travis outside.

Travis made his way back to the motel. When he got there, he got a voicemail from Sylvia saying that she has set up the next ranked fight. The location was at Santa Destroy's docks. Travis began to wonder who could be waiting at the docks and made his way there. When he got there, he noticed a man with blue hair, blue eyes, blue jeans, blue shirt, and a blue beam katana. He was staring out into the ocean talking to himself. He turned around as soon as he heard Travis' footsteps.

"So you're the famous Travis Touchdown." He said with a smile. "I have been waiting for this day ever since I heard you became the top Assassin twice."

"Just who the hell are you?" Travis asked with a hostile voice, holding his green beam katana.

"I go by the name Aqua." He said, preparing his katana. "Now then, why don't we start? Show me your fighting style, show me how you got to be ranked 1st twice!"

As soon as Aqua had finished talking, he immediately charged at Travis. Travis dodged his attack and countered with his own beam katana. Aqua had jumped into the ocean after being hit a couple times. Travis thought he was insane, but then Aqua had come out of the water with another katana.

"What the hell?!" Travis yelled.

Aqua didn't answer and rushed at Travis once more, knocking Travis to the ground. Travis quickly evaded Aqua's katanas. Once he evaded the attack, Aqua's katanas were stuck in the ground. This gave Travis the perfect chance to strike. Travis took his katana and sliced right through Aqua's stomach, ending the fight. Aqua died with a smile on his face. Soon after the fight had ended, Sylvia had arrived wearing some provocative clothing.

"Congratulations, you are now ranked 9th. I hope you don't slow down, there are some fierce competitors that want to fight you and are catching up to your rank." Sylvia said.

"They can all come at me in a horde; I'll still take them down!" Travis said with a grin.

Travis made his way back to the motel and went to take a nap.

"Another day, another kill." Travis said to himself, shutting his eyelids and dozing off.


	2. Chapter 2

No More Heroes: Katana Tournament

Chapter 2: Brothers

Travis had woken up from his nap and had received a call from Sylvia telling him that she had set up the next ranked battle. The battle will take place on an island off the coast of Santa Destroy.

"Are you kidding me!?" Travis yelled into the phone. "A fucking island?!"

"Stop your bitching and get to it!" Sylvia yelled, hanging up the phone.

Travis let out a sigh. "How the hell am I supposed to get to an island?"

Travis heard a loud noise coming outside of the motel. When looked outside his window, he noticed a boat being dragged into the parking lot.

"Delivery for a Mr. Touchdown!" The man yelled.

Travis ran outside and asked the man who the boat was from.

"It's from a woman named Sylvia." The man said, handing Travis a signing form. "Now just sign here."

Travis signed the document and was given the boat.

"Sweet." Travis said as he was getting the keys to the boat.

He began to drag the boat to the docks with his motorcycle attached to it. When he got to the dock, he saw Aqua's body covered up with a sheet with a flower on top of it. Travis ignored it and dropped the boat into the water, got inside, and drove toward the island. When he arrived at the island, he noticed a huge volcano in the middle of the island. Due to Travis' history of crazy locations, he headed toward the volcano. When he got to the volcano, he noticed a man standing near it with a bright red beam katana and features like Aqua, only dyed red.

"I'm going to guess that you're the 8th ranked assassin." Travis said, pulling out his green beam katana once more.

"Yes, yes I am." The man said.

"Can I have the pleasure to know who I'm killing?" Travis asked

"I am Volcanis, and the person you killed yesterday was my younger brother." He said.

"Well holy shit, assassinations are becoming a family job now." Travis said.

"Now then, let's start what you came here for." Volcanis said, running towards Travis.

Travis acted quickly and clashed swords with Volcanis. Volcanis got a small cut on his cheek, which infuriated him. Volcanis jumped back and began launching fireballs toward Travis. Travis blocked the fireballs with his katana. After that, Travis' katana was out of energy, which gave Volcanis the perfect chance to attack. Volcanis ran up to Travis once more and kicked him in the face. Travis fell to the ground but quickly got back up. He switched to his dual wield beam katanas and began hacking away at Volcanis. Volcanis backed away to catch his breath when Travis grew tired of striking at him.

"I see, so you defeating my brother was no fluke." Volcanis said while panting.

"You can always quit and save me the trouble of killing you." Travis said with a grin, holding his beam katanas toward Volcanis.

Volcanis began to laugh. "No way, this is the most fun I've had in ages." Volcanis readied his beam katana again. "Now then, back to the fight!"

Volcanis jumped toward Travis but Travis quickly rolled behind him and stabbed Volcanis in the back with both beam katanas and split him in half. After a few minutes, Sylvia had arrived in a helicopter.

"Congratulations Travis, you are now ranked 8th, but you better hurry, some fighters are catching up to your rank." Sylvia said through a megaphone.

"Only seven more to go!" Travis yelled.

Travis arrived back at Santa Destroy and got back to the motel. When he got to the door of his room, there was a note saying, "See you in the ranks brother."


	3. Chapter 3

No More Heroes: Katana Tournament

Chapter 3: Henry's decision

It was another average day for Henry Cooldown. It was his usual routine, chopping heads off for cash. However, today Henry had heard that the UAA had opened up once again and was hosting a worldwide assassin's tournament especially for beam katana wielders. Henry heard that his twin brother Travis Touchdown was entering the tournament not too long after. He decided that this tournament would be the perfect way to settle their feud once and for all. He rode his limo to the UAA building, worried now that he has to face his ex-wife. He went inside and arrived at Sylvia's office.

"You want to join the UAA ranked fights?" Sylvia asked, intrigued at Henry.

"Yes, I want to settle things with Travis once and for all." Henry said.

Sylvia pulled out a roster for the rankings. "I'll let you start from whichever rank you want just to make things more interesting."

Henry looked at the top ranked assassin and noticed a strange name. "Who's this Asteroth person?"

"That is confidential until you face him." Sylvia said with a smile.

"Well whoever he is, I'll take him on." Henry said.

"Very well, I'll arrange the fight." Sylvia said, marking Henry's map. "Head there in about an hour."

Henry agreed and left the building back to his mansion. He got to his bedroom and removed his beam katana from his closet. He then left for the area marked on the map. When he got to his destination, he arrived a strange rocky area with just mountains around him. It was becoming sunset and he saw a man walking toward him.

Henry prepared his beam katana. "Are you the top ranked assassin?"

Asteroth stood there with no expression on his face. "Leave while you can mortal."

The sun had set and the man began undergoing some strange mutation. Asteroth became a giant wolf-like creature wearing old but sturdy Roman armor and was carrying two double-sided beam katanas.

Henry was disgusted. "Just what the bloody Hell are you doing the rankings with such a hideous body?

Asteroth looked intrigued that someone finally wanted to know what he was doing in the rankings as such a creature. "Very well, I'll tell you. I joined the rankings because I was promised to be returned to my normal self as long as I remained rank 1st."

"And just how long were you in this form?" Henry asked.

"Over a millennia." Asteroth said.

"Well then, I guess it's time to free you from your cycle." Henry said.

Henry began launching energy balls toward Asteroth, while Asteroth just deflected them with his beam katanas. Asteroth moved surprisingly quickly for his size but was still not as fast as Henry. Henry ran up to Asteroth, cutting off one of his arms. Asteroth didn't scream in pain or showed any signs of feeling pain. Instead, he just placed is katana over his missing arm and it reappeared on his shoulder like nothing had ever happened. Henry was shocked to see that even losing an arm had no effect on him.

"How do you think I have stayed alive for this long?" Asteroth asked, picking up his other beam katana.

Henry ignored the question and began launching energy balls once more, only to get reflected again by Asteroth. He then dashed toward Asteroth and began to hack away at him, only to get picked up by Asteroth and thrown very far. Henry stood up, fearing he had no chance at winning against him. Although, Henry just thought of an ingenious way to defeat him. Henry quickly dashed toward Asteroth and quickly removed both of Asteroth's arms. Asteroth still felt no pain, although he could not regenerate his arms without his life katanas.

"Give up, you have lost." Henry said. "Just stand down from your rank and I won't have to finish you off."

Asteroth didn't seem too pleased with the idea, but he didn't want to die yet.

"Very well, you have won the battle, you are now ranked number one." Asteroth said.

Henry smiled and made his way back home to wait for Travis to reach rank 2nd. He will finally find out which one of them is tougher as long as Travis doesn't get killed between the ranks.


	4. Chapter 4

No More Heroes: Katana Tournament

Chapter 4: The Ninja Games

After conquering the 8th rank, Travis decided to celebrate with some pizza. He had received a call from Sylvia after he had placed his order.

"Hello Travis, I have sent the next ranked assassin to your location." Sylvia said.

"What do you mean, "Sent?" Travis asked with a clueless expression.

"You'll see." Sylvia said as she hung up.

"What the hell is that bitch planning now?" Travis asked himself.

The doorbell had rung after 30 minutes of waiting and Travis was glad his pizza had finally arrived.

"Delivery for Travis Touchdown." The man said with a strangely deep voice.

"Finally!" Travis yelled as he opened the door.

The man was wearing strange armor and had a mask and quickly pulled out his mini beam katana to stab Travis. Travis quickly jumped back and pushed him down toward the parking lot.

"What the fuck are you?!" Travis yelled while getting his green beam katana from his back pocket.

"I am Rikimaru, the ninja assassin. I am here because I had heard that my mortal enemy, Hanzo, was in the rankings and I don't want anyone getting in my way for vengeance." He said.

Rikimaru had revealed his missing eye socket and pulled out his smoke katana. He raised it in to the air and covered the area in a haze.

"You gotta be shitting me!" Travis yelled.

Travis walked around the smoke, holding his beam katana in both hands. "Where the hell are you, you sneaky bastard!"

Travis' jacket had become torn in a matter of seconds. Travis turned around and saw nothing but smoke. Then, an idea popped into his head. Travis gripper his beam katanas with both hands and spun around as quickly as he could, removing the haze around him.

"Impressive." Rikimaru said, standing further inside the haze.

Travis cleared more of the haze with his beam katana, causing some minor damage to Rikimaru by accident.

"Alright, your smoke is gone!" Travis yelled, thinking he was victorious. "Give up now!"

Rikimaru began to laugh. "I'm far from being defeated city boy!"

Rikimaru threw his beam katana towards the sky and super jumped toward it. He grabbed his katana and fell toward Travis. Travis prepared himself and his katana. As soon as Rikimaru had reached Travis' area of range, he was cut in half right through the middle.

Sylvia had arrived in a limo. "Congratulations on reaching rank 7th! Oh and here's the pizza you ordered."

"It's about damn time, I'm starving!" Travis yelled as he dug in

"I hope he wasn't too much trouble." Sylvia said as she was heading back into the limo.

"Now wait just a god damn minute Sylvia, what the hell is Henry doing in the rankings?" Travis asked as he finished his pizza. "And another thing, what the hell kind of battle setup was this?"

"First of all, Henry asked me to include him so he could settle the feud with you. Second, it was good for our ratings." Sylvia said with a smile. "Au Revoir!"

Travis groaned and headed back inside and took a nap, wondering how he was going to deal with Henry.


	5. Chapter 5

No More Heroes: Katana Tournament

Chapter 5: Dancing Mad.

Travis woke up from his 2 hour nap to a call. Travis thought it was Sylvia, but it was someone he had never heard before.

"Hello, Travis." The scratchy voice said. "I've heard many things about you."

"Oh have you?" Travis asked with a smile.

"The crimson fountain." The voice said. "The man that kills all who stand in his way. The no more hero!"

"Oh you dirty bitch, work the shaft!" Travis yelled.

"E-excuse you?" The voice asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Travis said. "I just like to dirty talk when someone's sucking my dick."

There was a short pause.

"Perhaps I should just skip to my point." The voice said. "My name is The Last Dancer."

"And I'm Carmen San Diego." Travis said with a smile. "Guess where I am!"

There was another short pause.

"You know what? Fuck it." The Last Dancer said. "Come to the remains of the Pizza Batt Tower, I'm your next opponent."

"What happened to Sylvia?" Travis asked.

"She told me to call you and tell you myself." The Last Dancer said. "She's kind of a bitch."

"Yeah." Travis said with another smile. "She's special like that."

I'll be waiting." The Last Dancer said.

"Okay, I'll be there in 15 minutes." Travis said. "Bring your A-game."

Travis hung up the phone, picked up his favorite green beam katana, and headed to his motorcycle parked outside. As he was making his way to the battle location, he thought about his fight with Jasper Batt Jr.

'Man, that little brat was annoying.' Travis thought.

Travis arrived at the wreckage of Pizza Batt Tower, got off his motorcycle, and put his hands in his pockets.

"Ah, memories." Travis said aloud.

Travis walked into the wreckage and continued to walk to the center. In the center of the wreckage, there was a man dancing. The man had a pale white face, green shirt and jeans, black dancing shoes, long white hair, and blue eyes.

"So, you're The Last Dancer?" Travis asked.

The man continued to dance, ignoring Travis' words.

"Hey asshole!" Travis yelled. "I'm talking to you!"

The man stopped dancing and faced Travis.

"Yes, I am The Last Dancer." He said. "Welcome to my dance studio."

"Your studio is a fucking dump… literally." Travis said. "And your dance sucks."

"How dare you!?" The Last Dancer yelled. "My dancing brings joyful death to everyone! You should be honored to be killed by my glorious moves!"

The Last Dancer pulled out his beam katana that he called The Cyclone Blade. The beam katana was light blue, had small tornadoes floating around the blade, and was near 2 feet in length.

"Oh no, I'm so scared." Travis said sarcastically.

Travis pulled out his green beam katana and took a fighting stance.

"I guess it's time for your final performance!" Travis yelled as he charged toward The Last Dancer.

The Last Dancer moved around the field, dancing to music playing from his portable radio. Ironically, the song he was listening to was, "Why can't we be friends?"

Travis chased him around but was never able to catch up to him. Even when Travis did catch up, The Last Dancer easily dodged his attacks.

'What does it take to kill this asshole?' Travis thought.

Travis tried to examine The Last Dancer's dance pattern. Travis noticed that both of the dancer's legs touch the ground for a few seconds after each dance pattern. He waited for The Last Dancer's legs to be on the ground and sliced The Last Dancer's legs off. The Last Dancer fell to the floor and began to scream in pain.

"If it's any compensation, I think your katana is pretty cool. I'll be taking it." Travis said, taking the cyclone blade from The Last Dancer's right hand. "But you were a very terrible fighter."

"Damn you." The Last Dancer said with his remaining strength.

Soon after, The Last Dancer had died. A chopper had appeared with Sylvia holding a megaphone.

"Congratulations Travis!" Sylvia yelled. "You are now ranked six!"

"Hey Sylvia!" Travis yelled. "What the hell is with the new calling system?!"

"Did you like it?" Sylvia asked.

"Well, I had some fun fucking with him." Travis said with a laugh.

"So, there is no issue?" Sylvia asked.

"Nah." Travis said. "This is the only change I actually like."

"Very well, I'll have your next opponent call you when he is ready." Sylvia said, leaving the site.

Travis left the wreckage sight and headed home. Once he had gotten home, he placed the cyclone blade next to his bed and fell asleep.


End file.
